The {fill in the blank} 2 years.

20 months ago this picture was taken.

 2 hours ago this picture was taken.

These past two years have been the best two years! The hardest two years. The most memorable two years. An exhausting two years. A very blessed two years. A physically and emotionally demanding two years. They've been way better than I thought they would be. Also much more difficult than I ever thought possible. (And this is coming from a mom with only two, pretty healthy children!) 

Before I had kids I used to imagine them all dressed up on Sunday in their beautiful clean church clothes I had picked out (complete with matching hair accessory), sitting quietly—content with a quiet book and without any snack. I used to imagine the crafts we would do at home and baking or cooking dinner together. I imagined everything I could get done during nap time. I imagined easy discipline solutions with quick results. I imagined grocery shopping together and thought how fun it would be to pick meals out together. I imagined cuddling with my children at night and letting them sleeping late into the morning.

Let’s get one thing straight. I LOVE BEING A MOM. And I love, love my girls. But now I imagine different things. I imagine the Sunday when we won’t have to make 5 trips out to the foyer with a screaming child—no matter if they are wearing a ridiculous outfit and uncomely hair. I imagine a day when the snacks, wipes, and diapers can stay at home and our clothes remain unmarked from ballpoint pens and poop stains. I imagine a day when I can finally track down every pen, crayon, and marker in the house and throw them all away! I imagine a day when I can go shopping during daylight hours. I imagine cooking dinner everyday (okay...maybe every other day) instead of waiting for Nathan to come home and save me. I imagine quiet. I imagine showering by myself and getting ready un-chaperoned by a 2 and 3 year-old.  I imagine sleeping in a bed just with my husband. I imagine possibly pursuing a hobby.

“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” I know that this is my season to be tired and to never have a clean house…ever. It’s my time to share every toast I make and every cup I pour for myself with someone else. For now I will have children literally hanging off my limbs and downright awful shopping/library/being in public experiences. And right now there are days where my greatest accomplishment is simply keeping us all alive.  

It’s a very hard season. And it will change soon enough, and by then I might be sane enough to miss this time.

But I still like to imagine.

(Notice the boots. Remember this post? That's why grandmas are better than moms.)