I promise I'll update soon

It's not for a lack of crazy happenings going on. Just for a lack of another hand. 

Who can find 8 things wrong with this picture? Answers below.

1. Mom is not in her housewear. 2. She is wearing makeup, 3. heels, 4. and a uh...bra. 5. Swap calculator for her own (!!!) new smart phone (!!!). 6. Switch screaming diapered baby for two high-demanding but potty trained toddlers. (Which is easier? I might choose a napping baby.) 7. Replace vacuum for duster (me and my vacuum spend a lot of time together these days) (also dusting requires furniture). 8. Despite the evolutionary process of adaptation she still only has two hands. 

If you guessed the smile was wrong, you are wrong. Who isn't perfectly happy after moving to a new ginormous apartment. By ginormous I mean I actually have to get off my bed in order to touch all four walls. Wahoo! Life is great. 

My mini soapbox

Photography by Kendyl 

(Whenever she hijakes my camera I get loads of random ones.

Found this one taken weeks ago and it kind of goes with my post.

I just looked down and realized I am wearing the same outfit. So sad.)

A few days ago I read this. I loved it. I absolutely agree. In my own way I totally call myself a feminist. I even try to make sure I drive the car 50% of the time when Nate's in it. (To Nathan this is the only downside to my “feminism”. He hates the way I drive. But then I hate the way he drives.)

However I’ve struggled a lot putting to words how I feel about the roles of men and women in the sphere of parenthood.

So I especially loved this part. (But read the whole article. Disagree if you want.) It’s exactly what I’d come to the conclusion of not so long ago.

C. Jane: Somehow those same old gender roles had crept into our marriage and we were equating my husband’s job with motherhood which was painfully false. Fatherhood and motherhood are equal pairs. We both should never, ever sleep again. (insert: smiley face)

I've generally never really struggled with the idea of thinking women were less important with men. But I do struggle with the fact that other people might think it. Especially days when I pass a group of women in their pencil skirts and perfectly made-up faces while I drag a screaming 2 year-old in my ratty jeans and unwashed hair. On the really hard days thoughts will creep in questioning the worth of it all. 

I know women are divine. We are mothers. We are strength. We are love. We are partners of God raising His children.

But most days being a Mom doesn’t seem like all that great a job. Because (sometimes  to myself and others) it is equated to the titles of Nanny, Cook, and Cleaner. What’s so divine about being an unpaid maid? And what’s so incredible about feeding little kids mac and cheese? Not much.

And Dad’s role is to Work. A role often viewed (sometimes by myself and others) as a more important role in comparison to Nanny, Cook, and Cleaner.

Early on it seemed so black and white. Nathan went to school and had a job. I stayed at home, did laundry, tried to make dinner, kept the house as clean as possible and the babies alive. I was mostly successful.

And when I read blogs where Moms would say: "I have a choice. I can either clean or be a Mom. I just can’t do both. I can’t have it all. So I'll leave the dishes for another day and snuggle with my child." I used to scoff and think, "Who are you trying to kid? Of course you can do both. You’re just not motivated enough. Its not one or the other. Get off your bum and load the dishwasher."

But then things got shook up a little bit. The babies aren’t babies anymore. Some of their needs went down which made life a little easier- nursing, diapers, spoon feeding, but other things are getting much harder. The real Mom stuff- disciplining, teaching, nurturing (how to use potties, how to share, why we should keep our clothes on, why we shouldn’t hit or scratch, what happens when we yell, how to be kind, what we shouldn’t say to the random lady in the store, why we shouldn’t take the candy from store without paying, how to ask a question appropriately, how to play by ourselves, why we shouldn’t hang on Mommy’s neck, why we need to clean up our mess, what happens when we don’t clean it up, why we should listen to Mom and Dad, what happens when we scream in the car, how to put our own buckles on, how to brush our teeth, how to pray, what happened when we dance during prayers…I could go on and on and on) all the while testing the outer limits of my patience and emotional stability.

Too many days the house is a disaster by the time Nate gets home and dinner is never made. Ever. Most days I literally cannot keep the house clean and cook dinner with children in the house. Some days I’d rather have a Real Job. That seems more physically do-able. Because for someone with the title of Nanny, Cook, and Cleaner I am not living up to my job description. I am a failure. And I’m just too tired to fix it.

But one day I came to the conclusion like many people before me (who I scoffed at….so sorry) I can’t do it all. It stinks. I don’t like having a messy house. Actually I hate it. But for now its okay! I don’t have to be a Nanny, Cook, and Cleaner. Nowhere in the Proclamation to the Family does it says my role is to cook and keep the bathroom Lysol clean. And nowhere in the Proclamation to the Family does it say that Nate shouldn’t cook dinner and help tidy up. (Which most days he gladly does) Our roles are to be Mothers and Fathers and together, "rear [our] children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live." We each have "divine designs" and for our family now, most of my day are spent at home and most of Nathan’s are spent at  an office but that doesn’t mean we can’t be co-CEOs in ALL the duties of our home. So I’ll do the laundry (Nathan hates doing it, and I hate it when he tries) but I don’t find much joy out of cooking (and luckily Nathan is willing and very able). And together we'll tackle everything else.

Duh Liesel! I know. It seem so obvious. But with this realization I’m able to let go a whole lot of guilt I have when Nathan walks in the door to a mess and uncooked beef defrosting on the counter. I am not a failure. I’m a Mom with little kids who simply need Mom. Mom the Teacher and Mom the Nurturer, not Mom the Maid. (Though I would love a cleaner house. And so I’m still trying to figure out I way to have that too.)

…………….

Elder Cook: "Our doctrine is clear: Women are daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves them. Wives are equal to their husbands. Marriage requires a full partnership where wives and husbands work side by side to meet the needs of the family."

Elder Holland: "Do the best you can through these years, but whatever else you do, cherish that role that is so uniquely yours and for which heaven itself sends angels to watch over you and your little ones. Husbands—especially husbands—as well as Church leaders and friends in every direction, be helpful and sensitive and wise. Remember, 'To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.'”

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

I want purple makeup. I want a present with purple makeup. I want a kitchen. And a car. I want something that’s fluffy so I can go to sleep and not be scared. An animal that’s fluffy. I want a really big thing that I can wear so I won’t be cold. I want an umbrella so the rain won’t get on my head. And maybe a purple soccer ball. And a mask so I can be scary. And Josie wants one too. I want a different costume. I want a new I-pod. I want a really cool big dress. I really want something thats good. I want a doghouse for my dog that I want. I want a ring. I want a really fluffy pillow with feathers. I want a purple watch. I want a really good something to put inside my bedroom. Maybe a door.  And maybe a matching big blankie for mine and Josie’s bed. And a balloon for my birthday. I want a light. And I want a chocolate water bottle.

Love, Kendyl

I just let her ramble on. Some of these things I heard for the first time. Others she been talking about forever. And some she will not get (a dog...never ever). But she is her mother's daughter. Wanting a new kitchen, a car, makeup, clothes, and a chocolate water bottle (whatever the heck that is it sounds pretty good). 

Lets hope Santa doesn't read the archives of this blog to see how naughty or nice she's been this year. Because even though she's naked dumping fruit loops on my bed right now, she is pretty cute.

Mommy 101

We officially started training today. By officially I mean I started it twice before and gave up. And last week I planned on officially starting it on Black Friday and I was going to rename the day Bleak Friday, but Josie woke up having uh....incontinence issues so I postponed it until today. 

Things I've learned so far....

Even if you've potty trained before you don't really know if its going to work again. (I've potty trained 2 of my younger siblings and Kendyl. Means nothing.)

Everything I learned in college about the evils of rewarding behaviors goes out the window. Stickers,  praise, bribes, candy, money, cars? Sorry Alfie Kohn--whatever works goes.

Some kids will do anything for a jelly bean.

Some moms will do anything if it means their household budget will expand by a diaper box worth of money.

Always pick a candy reward that you won't eat. The chocolate chips and marshmallows didn't last long here. Just keep Dad away. Dads like everything.

It's easier to train them when they have a bigger sibling who also gets a jelly bean every time the 2 year-old is successful. They start being extremely encouraging. 

After a few hours all of a sudden your child is in love with wearing diapers. (Mine keeps bringing me them begging to put it back on her.)

For every child I potty train I should earn one trip to a place of my choosing. (And I don't even ask that for going through a pregnancy and labor.)

Just don't mess with Momma.

(Or please, please just don't mess your pants!)

But really how did the pioneers do it? In all the hundreds and hundreds of journal entries we have, I don't believe anyone recorded a single potty training mishap they had on the trail. Makes you wonder...

So far the training is hopeful. I'm highly motivated to get it done before we move into our new apartment with rooms and rooms covered in new clean carpet. 

P.S. If anyone has the manual How To Train Your Three Year Old To Go To Bed Before Ten Thirty I'd love to borrow it!

Happy Thanksgiving!

I'm in a funk. I don't feel like cooking, cleaning, taking pictures, or blogging. Nate might say that that's not much different than normal except for the last two. But don't believe him. 

And I also don't feel like finding my camera to post the one picture I did take. 

(Imagine shaving cream and 2 girls our 2 girls.)

So instead here's one from the archives. 

Kendyl looking like how her mama feels right now.

But Happy Thanksgiving!

 We are celebrating with store-bought pie, ham, frozen rolls and a bottle of Martinelli's. 

(Three weeks until we move to an apartment with a full-sized kitchen.

Three weeks to come up with another excuse why I shouldn't cook.) 

Disclaimer: Nathan read this post and thinks that everyone will think that he thinks his wife doesn't do anything. Got that? But he wants everyone to understand he thinks his wife is amazing and does everything. Just had to clear that up. (And that's why I married him.)

things to report of no consequence. don't believe me then just read it.

1. We survived Sandy and fared much better than the predictions. Our power only flickered off for about 15 seconds. Some of our friends were out for a couple days and it was pretty cold. But I could get used to hurricanes as long as they don't knock out power, kill people, flood cities, destroy houses, shut down transportation etc. We had Nate home for a whole 2 days and it was heaven (for us). And I feel really guilty admitting that considering what the rest of the coast went through. 

2. I "worked out" for the first time in a year. And that was only one week last year. I've been putting it off since my foot hurts really bad when I walk and especially when I run. Thanks to google I self-diagnosed it as Moron's neuroma and got a shoe insert. And then I finally signed up for the community center's gym. Hopefully I'll feel more motivated. Even though I only made it to running speed for a whole minute I did feel rather toned and athletic compared to all the other people using the gym (two 70 year old ladies). 

3. The girls actually took a nap! The girls actually took a nap at the same time! Oh how I wish I could have joined them. Instead how did I celebrate? Did dishes and watched a little Property Brothers. Nate came home to this:

Don't look too closely at the 20+ year old couch we inherited. It takes the brunt of the damage that the girls inflict on the house. Stains. Tears. Super nasty! But better on this than someday when we have new ones. 

4. I died my hair again. I like it. After last time I wasn't expecting it to go so dark but I like drastic changes. But it's weird whenever I see myself in a mirror. Kendyl now wants pink hair after she watched "Nate paint Mommy's hair black." 

5. Kendyl went to bed one night. Or so we thought. Instead she was locked in the bathroom painting her entire front self black using my new liquid eyeliner pen I had just bought. Also the toilet, door, and sink. 0.05 oz goes way farther than you think it would. Way, way farther. Mom and Dad=not very happy. Not very happy at all. I have a new love for magic erasers. They need to invent one that works on skin. The stuff took forever to come off of her. 

6. It's November. When did that happen? (One year ago Nate graduated with his masters and we moved from Denver. Crazy.) We are very excited for the holidays. It will be our first ever not going to either of our parents. So the pressure is on for us to not have a lame Christmas. Kendyl is super excited and so we have to start thinking of some fun traditions we want to do in our family. Good thing I left our box of Christmas decorations in Denver. They did not make the cut (☹) so we are starting off all over again. (Don't worry Mom--we still have our stockings!)

7. It's getting colder. I don't know if that's just because of the hurricane weather or if it really is colder in November. I am not motivated to go to the park at all. So if anyone who reads this wants to get together for a play date let me know!

Happy Free Candy Day!

or Happy Good Luck Putting Your Kids To Bed Day!

We will be spending another year not trick or treating. (And because our front door opens to the backyard we don't have to hand out candy or keep our lights out.) It might just be our last. Unless I get the sudden urge from some Milky Ways and then I'll have to wake up one of the girls and send them around the neighborhood. 

But really, we are all Halloweened out. And the girls think Halloween ended days ago. Last Friday Nate's building had a trick or treating party. The girls had a lot of fun but Kendyl especially enjoyed schmoozing with everyone on Nathan's floor. They got a rather large stash of candy (to Nathan's disappointment mostly chocolate, which we realized was because most of the people on his floor are women)  but we had to leave when the girls started taking off their costumes. Josie especially didn't understand why she couldn't run the halls in her diaper. 

Long day at the office.

(It was even funnier before I realized I should be filming it.)

 The next day all ready for round 2 at the church trunk or treat:

 Kendyl talked all day how she wanted to go as Sleeping Beauty.

 But changed her mind 5 minutes before we left.

Happy Halloween! 

You can bet I will be first in line for the after-day chocolate candy sales!

The Hurricane

If I had the chance to rename a child I might be tempted.

 Meet Hurricane Sandy.

  Because she basically personifies a hurricane.  From her crazy hair and whirlwind personality, to the destruction left in her path. And I am crazy in love with her. However, I am not looking forward to the disasters that are forecasted for the Vasher household this next year.

This is how birthday number 2 went down:

Opened presents. (All thrifted except her new stroller. How lame am I?)

 She picks up quickly. Notice the two babies in the single stroller. 

 Went to play group at the park. I was trying to make sure Josie lived to eat cake that night but ended up loosing Kendyl. It is a massive park and I finally found her at the other end being pushed in a swing by a girl and her nanny. (For about 5 anxiety-filled minutes I was envisioning telling Nathan I somehow lost his daughter.)

We did make it out of the park. But it's too fun to leave. Ever. Even with bribes. And threats. Some old man was chuckling as I spent 15 minutes chasing Kendyl down on a huge playset while holding Josie.  Some people. I really wanted to yell, "Come on! Can't you at least block the slide!"

 During Mom's afternoon sanity break Josie (encouraged by a big sister) emptied a tube of toothpaste in the living room. It didn't do much for the room's build-up and surface stains. But at least there was immediate freshness. 

Josie zonked out before dinner (beginning of a cold) and slept for 3 hours. She missed pizza and the first round of ice cream but luckily we waited on the cake for her. No candles. (Another lame Mom point.) I forgot to get some at the store and our neighbor wasn't able to answer her door when we went to borrow some. 

Today marked Day 1 of Potty Training. We went to buy more diapers before the big storm hit and Nathan couldn't bring himself to spend another $25 on something we all hate changing. So instead we invested in some new Josie panties. I have big plans on quitting though and buying diapers on the black market. Especially after her whole new package of underwear is now in the washer and its been less than 6 hours. And its also really no fun because every time Josie has to put on a new clean pair Kendyl also has to change to the same matching colored pair for herself. Problems you never anticipate. If I had we would have gone with an all white package.

Wish me luck. On potty training and surviving Hurricane Sandy. 

And surviving the real Hurricane Sandy tomorrow.

The Gap

Well the gap is narrowing. When Josie was born I decided to give away everything she outgrew as she got older. I figured the clothes most likely had already gone through her and her sister and my closets just didn't have enough room to save all those pink clothes….especially if we only have brothers after this (or--see previous posts--no younger siblings). And if a little sister finally did make a debut those clothes would most likely be way out of style. (“Ewww your mom makes you wear leggings! That was so early 2010s.”) Also we have gotten so many great hand-me-downs that have come just when we needed them, so why not pass ours along as well. But I always box away Kendyl’s old clothes for Josie. So every few months it seems we rotate out the closets. When we first started this it seemed like there were so many sizes in between the girls (3m, 6m, 9m, 9-12m, 12m, 18m, 18-24m, 24m, 2T) and lots of old diaper boxes were packed away with them. Well I just went through another closet swap and there are now no boxes of clothes between them! Granted I might not have wanted to have another box so J has some slightly big clothes in her drawers and K has some slightly shorter clothes in her drawers…but still! And its not just the clothes. Even though in pictures K towers over J, they are on the same level with toys they play with (minus K’s 100 piece puzzles), how they entertain each other, bedtimes, when they wake up, shows they enjoy, quantity of chocolate milk they chug, etc. The girls are quickly becoming best friends which is demonstrated in the daily number of cat-fights. (A question for another post--why do boys naturally wrestle and slug each other while girls' instinct is to scratch and pull hair??)

Josie is turning 2 on Thursday and since I’ve been claiming that age for her for a while now, its weird to say I have a 2 year-old and a 3 year-old. (Nathan quickly points out that K is really almost 4.) And its even weirder to think that even though they are 20 months apart, I had a baby in 2009 and 2010.

Anyways, enough with my inconsequential ramblings. Here’s some pictures. The girls got a bag of hand-me-downs. There was a matching pair of PJs that were both 3T and so of course they insist on being matching to bed. This shows what the same size looks like on my 2 girlies. (J's pants could use a good roll at the waist and if K moves even slightly her belly is clearly shown.)

 

Regrets

Right after Josie was born the biggest question I had was to buy or not to buy a double stroller?

I did not.

My thought was once I stopped carrying Josie around in the Baby Bjorn, Kendyl would be old enough to walk. Ha! So I pretty much had Josie strapped to me for her first year and then we came up with creative, if not slightly unsafe solutions. And its been super annoying but I'd say doable.

Until last Friday.

Entenmann's was having a dollar bread and cake sale and Nathan had the car all day for a training. No problem. I decided to stick the kids in one of our umbrella strollers and walk the block or two down the road and across a major intersection to buy some bread. Not too hard.

We made it there with hardly any issues. Josie wanted to walk part of the way but she sat on K's lap when we crossed the street. When I got to the store I went a little overboard considering my transporting circumstances  and bought a dozen breads and bagels. (Never pass up a good deal.) 

Somehow we made out of the store, across the parking lot, up and down a curb, and to the intersection. As we crossed the street some guys honked at me. 

Picture a mom pushing a stroller with one hand thats carrying the rather heavy load of a 3 year-old and 4 bags stuffed with bread and mini bagels, while the other arm is grabbed onto a squirming 2 year-old with crazy hair, who is trying to dive out of her arm. Oh and holding 2 balloons. 

Hot.

25 minutes later we made it 1/4 of the mile home. 

If I ever have two more kids close together I will be buying this. My sanity is valued at least "as low as $589.00." 

Actually...it's not.

Post Update:
My little sister just sent me an email saying I should get this stroller instead.

It would definitely get more honks. :)

The {fill in the blank} 2 years.

20 months ago this picture was taken.

 2 hours ago this picture was taken.

These past two years have been the best two years! The hardest two years. The most memorable two years. An exhausting two years. A very blessed two years. A physically and emotionally demanding two years. They've been way better than I thought they would be. Also much more difficult than I ever thought possible. (And this is coming from a mom with only two, pretty healthy children!) 

Before I had kids I used to imagine them all dressed up on Sunday in their beautiful clean church clothes I had picked out (complete with matching hair accessory), sitting quietly—content with a quiet book and without any snack. I used to imagine the crafts we would do at home and baking or cooking dinner together. I imagined everything I could get done during nap time. I imagined easy discipline solutions with quick results. I imagined grocery shopping together and thought how fun it would be to pick meals out together. I imagined cuddling with my children at night and letting them sleeping late into the morning.

Let’s get one thing straight. I LOVE BEING A MOM. And I love, love my girls. But now I imagine different things. I imagine the Sunday when we won’t have to make 5 trips out to the foyer with a screaming child—no matter if they are wearing a ridiculous outfit and uncomely hair. I imagine a day when the snacks, wipes, and diapers can stay at home and our clothes remain unmarked from ballpoint pens and poop stains. I imagine a day when I can finally track down every pen, crayon, and marker in the house and throw them all away! I imagine a day when I can go shopping during daylight hours. I imagine cooking dinner everyday (okay...maybe every other day) instead of waiting for Nathan to come home and save me. I imagine quiet. I imagine showering by myself and getting ready un-chaperoned by a 2 and 3 year-old.  I imagine sleeping in a bed just with my husband. I imagine possibly pursuing a hobby.

“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” I know that this is my season to be tired and to never have a clean house…ever. It’s my time to share every toast I make and every cup I pour for myself with someone else. For now I will have children literally hanging off my limbs and downright awful shopping/library/being in public experiences. And right now there are days where my greatest accomplishment is simply keeping us all alive.  

It’s a very hard season. And it will change soon enough, and by then I might be sane enough to miss this time.

But I still like to imagine.

(Notice the boots. Remember this post? That's why grandmas are better than moms.) 

Happier than Christopher Columbus on a speedboat.

Thrift stores make me happy. Today was 50% off day at Unique and for $25 I scored:

2 skirts for me

2 long sleeve Shade shirts (I love Shade shirts) for me

1 pair of (slightly big, but waytoogoodtopassup) church shoes for me 

3 puzzles for K

1 box of 4 puzzles for J's b-day

Dora Chutes and Ladders for J's b-day

a Fancy Nancy game for K

2 rather fancy, sparkly purses for the girls 

Bag full of balls for J's b-day (why??)

My first thought before I checked out was "holy moly I am going to break the budget." So I did my ridiculous habit (I seriously do this every single time I shop-doesn't matter where) of holding out the "non-essentials" until the end to make sure I can afford them. Usually this means holding back the box of brownies, otter pops, ice cream, Sprite, or juice until I see the total. Then I make a last minute decision under the scrutiny of a very annoyed cashier and irritated people behind me. So today I held back the clothes until the end. But then I realized I was at a thrift store on 50% off day and should just buy the $3 skirts!!!

Buying everything I wanted and not feeling the slightest bit of buyer's remorse makes me very happy.

Camera Found

I didn't take a single picture in September. It really bugged me that I couldn't find my camera because we had such an awesome Saturday last week and I don't have single picture to show for it. This afternoon it occurred to me that I hadn't checked under our mattresses. (An obvious place for a camera to hide.) Sure enough under our mattress along with a missing headband and a dozen bobby pins, was our camera. So here are two pictures to remind me of my favorite Saturday in September:

(I selected Josie as my model because Kendyl decided to change back into her pjs and it's 3 in the afternoon. Somehow her shirt came off between the photo shoots.) 

#1: Saturday was Falls Church Service Day. We signed up to go to a farm in Maryland with some other families from the ward to pick squash that would be donated to families in our city. We filled up about a third of a moving van. Josie had a blast picking them up and "helping" me carry our bucket to the van. Kendyl kept saying, "I shouldn't be here." She was rather concerned over her dirty hands. They let us take some home so I am now enjoying the vegetables of our labor--butternut squash. No one in the household wants to try it which I couldn't be more happy about. More for me. 

#2: Josie is modeling my birthday gift. On Saturday Nathan took me to Ross to pick out some running shoes as my promised b-day gift. It was quick and much less painless from my shoe shopping trip in the previous post. My only concern is now running in them. Last time I tried to start running again (a little less than a year ago) resulted in Nathan walking me next to me as I "jogged" about a mile. But then I was wearing old Payless shoes and this time I will be wearing new Nike shoes. I expect quite an improvement. Maybe 1.1 miles? 

Not pictured is the awesome Fall-ish weather we are having. Everything looks prettier in the Fall here. We also spent part of Saturday at the park throwing rocks in the stream and letting the girls entertain themselves in the sandy volleyball court. Saying it felt great outside is an understatement. 

All because a red leaf fell...

After a summer of bare feet and flip flops Kendyl has been begging for some "running shoes" just like Daddy's. She was promised "when the leaves turn red and fall on the ground we will take you shopping for running shoes." 

Last week a red leaf fell. We probably could have gone another week without her noticing, but since the weather's turned colder, she really needed some new shoes.

Friday was a bad day. Nate had been gone every weeknight and we've also been watching some girls for 2 weeks while their parents are away. Which is all fine and dandy but add a Kendyl and a Josie to the mix and it equales one stressed out mom. 

Nathan had the brilliant idea that I should take our girls and get Kendyl her running shoes at Target to "relax and get out of the house and maybe buy yourself something...small."

K was super excited. She pointed out all the red leaves on the way to the store. 

We enter the store. I make sure both girls are in the shopping cart so they don't go crazy in the shoe section. I zero in on a pair of perfectly perfect "running shoes" in her size, gender, price range, and with Velcro straps. It was going to be the shortest shoe shopping trip EVER. But in the minute it had taken me to decide on perfect shoe, Kendyl had also zeroed in on her selection with the help of sidekick Josie. 

"We found our shoes Mom!"

"Those are boots Kendyl. We are getting running shoes."

Josie scales down the side of the shopping cart and starts shrieking as I try to keep her contained in the cart. No luck. Kendyl is now whining because she decided sparkly boots are really speaking to her.

I try to be firm. "Kendyl we are getting running shoes. Look at this pair. It's just like Daddy's and it just your size!"

She puts them on. "Nope. Too Big." Tosses them out the cart.

"Kendyl they fit you perfectly." I take her out of the cart have have her step on the shoe size chart to prove that she really is a size 10.

"No Mom. Those don't look like running shoes to me. I just don't like them."

I proceed to explain how these are perfect and begin comparing them to Daddy's shoes and her idol-aunt Lolly's shoes.

"Mom. I DON'T LIKE THOSE SHOES!"

K proceeds to run down the aisle in reckless abandon with Josie. 

"Mom I found the running shoes!!!! They are just like Nathan's!"

"No Kendyl those have ties. We are NOT getting shoes with ties."

"But Nathan's has ties."

I try to convince her the perfect shoes are cool. She is completely uninterested. (Meanwhile Josie is pulling shoes out of boxes and throwing them around.)

Then K stops dead in her tracks. 

Speaks in a voice of awe: "Mom, I want these!"

"Kendyl those aren't even running shoes. We are NOT getting them."

COMPLETE AND UTTER BREAKDOWN

I assess the situation. Screaming 3 year old. 2 year old wearing 2 different shoes and a pile growing behind her. People are staring. I grab the girls and throw them back in the cart. Josie is now screaming. Kendyl is now yelling in the loudest voice possible, "KITTY SHOES! KITTY SHOES!" People are really staring. I race to a checkout and purchase the perfect shoes. "KITTY SHOES!" 

Sobbing. Screaming. Staring.

We make it outside. People in the parking lot are looking around for the source of the noise. 

"KITTY SHOES!"

I somehow wrestle them both in their carseats and text Nate to inform him how relaxing my trip went. 

Amid the sobbing and a call to Dad in an effort to calm her heaving body, I decide that Kendyl is never going to wear or like the shoes I bought her so I drive towards Payless. Bad call. Screams continue. 

Next few seconds are not my best motherhood moments I confess. 

We arrive at Payless. There was a larger selection of "running shoes." I feel somewhat optimistic and show her an appropriate selection of shoes she can choose from. Complete apathy.

Josie and Kendyl pick out some matching non-running shoes. Cute, tempting, and way too expensive. Shoe companies must make bazillions on producing pink sparkly shoes and unleashing them on poor, unsuspecting, budget minded, practical-shoe buying families. Add a Disney decal and you've got yourself a $25 money trap. 

I sit down in defeat as the store lady scurries after them putting shoes back. 

My tactic is not working. Now Josie is very attached to the princess boots and Kendyl is stomping around in a matching pair and finally smiling. The store lady is shooting me funny looks. 

I try one more time to make K pick out a Payless running shoes. 

"That's it! We are leaving!" 

I grab a crying Josie and try to pry the princess boots off her. Attempt to match up shoes to boxes. Fail. Leave the mess to store lady who probably just wants us out.

Get in the car. Hand Kendyl the original perfect Target shoes.

"Kendyl these are your new shoes." 

No battle.

"Ooooooo. I LOVE my new running shoes!!"

Really. 

Quotes of the Day!

"It's not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it." -From the Golden Girls


"It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't." -Barbara Kingsolver


"For Christmas our kids are only allowed to get the exact same toys. Same color, same size. Or else I will be dead by next year." -Liesel Vasher 


"PLEASE DO NOT TAKE THEM TO THE STORE! THERE IS ENOUGH FOOD IN THE HOUSE THAT I CAN MAKE DINNER! I am telling you this as a loving husband! Do not take them to the store. IF YOU GO IT WILL BE BAD!!!!!!" -Nathan Vasher



(good thing I just used the last diaper.)